Monday, 3 October 2016
This post is a bit late, just because I wanted to think about it.
DH and I had a very serious conversation about money after an outburst about having to put $200.00 into our old Acura (which is 11), and the knowledge that the air compressor could go and cost $1000.00 to replace or repair. In a way, it was an emotional meltdown without thought, but it was not violent or insulting to either of us. In fact, what it did bring about was more willingness on his part to become involved with the finances.
We have one new car, and two old ones – the Acura, and a diesel truck which has been completely rebuilt. The Honda is only now hitting 6,000 miles. Because he works at home, the DH doesn’t need a commuter car; I do as I drive about 20 miles round trip 4 days a week, in an area without decent public transportation. The thought of losing the Acura is not pleasant – the truck is huge, and used for transportation of big things, not a casual drive for cookies from the grocery store. The real question on the line is would it be worthwhile to keep the Acura or get rid of it at sometime in the future?
Up ahead, there are student loans which will be needing to start payment on for The Student’s education; the final payment(s) remain unknown at this point. A new car, with payments, is not feasible or desirable.
We discussed everything – money, feelings, frustrations. Our conversation ended with the DH becoming more willing to look at our money on a regular basis. This means every two weeks when I do the bills. For the first time in 25 years is he willing to walk into the checkbook to see what is on the line, what is in the budget, and other financial plans. And talk about it and be part of the decision-making process.
This is a very big step as we are now facing the reality of our finances together, not alone. I won’t be alone pondering this and that and making all the decisions, and he won’t be alone and feeling guilty about buying a book. As with all new endeavors, it is unlikely to be comfortable, but it will be productive for both of us.