Day 8

Is your partner onboard with the Uber Frugal Month?

Well, yes, and no.  I haven’t said, “We are doing an uber frugal month.”  Instead, we are meeting our agreed-to goals, and I am simply making sure we work through our food supplies, we don’t spend money that is not already approved, and that we talk about money on a daily basis, in the form of food or whatever is needed.  I am trying to make money-talk a normal thing for both of us, which is not easy at all.

Cooperation has to be willing, not coerced.  We have waded through one year of doing debt reduction, and are now more coordinated than ever before, but this is not something which has happened overnight.  As I handle the budgets, and he runs from them, I have to slowly bring in the day-to-day expenses to him to show him progress.  I hope we are in tandem and (relatively) debt free by the time I want to retire.  As he has said, he is terrified of money.  This terror has to be removed.

I know for me, as a kid, talking about money was forbidden.  We were comfortable, but told very clearly that money was not our concern.  Period.  End.  Do not ask.  Consequently, money was a guilt-ridden and emotional subject.  The label “greedy” was often applied, as were “nosey,” “spendthrift,” and so many other words.  There was never an attempt to explain how money worked, only hollering and name calling, and never any problem-solving.

So, yes, we are on the same path.  And yes, we are talking.  But no, we are not fully informed on the uber frugal month because it would be too emotional for either of us.  I am testing the waters for myself, and then we can see how it feels, and then try to make it work a bit.  We have done a great job, in my opinion, because we discuss and set goals.  Right now, uber frugal month is my issue because I love to click “buy” on Amazon.  DH has more self-control than I do in that area.